The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
