I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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