No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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