I must be too annoying 4 u.
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Randomize