I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
