Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
