i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
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