I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
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