Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
So much rum. So many feels.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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