I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Randomize
