btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
It was like getting head from an anaconda
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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