just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Randomize
