I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
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