You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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