Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
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