I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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