True but thats because hes a fetus.
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
