In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Randomize
