she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
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