it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Randomize
