i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
He did a backflip because drugs
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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