Cold hands, warm shart.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
