I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Randomize