Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
