I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
