I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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