It's like a parade of train wrecks.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
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