Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
