Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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