new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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