so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I'm at about main and main street
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
