also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
