Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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