you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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