Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Randomize
