You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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