ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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