i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
