After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
