If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
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