i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
