what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
