And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
