Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
It's blow job season.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
