If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
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