remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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