she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
