id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
