I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Randomize
