The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
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