you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
