Non-Jews are for practice
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I would fuck him just for his dog
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