I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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