At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
