Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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