in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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