? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Come on in and take your pants off
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