Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Randomize
